Q & A - From My Readers

First of all, thanks for reading! I'm blown away by the support that I have received by everyone that reads my blogs. If I could sing, I would totally upload audio of me singing Bryan Adams (Everything I do) I do it for you. Lame?? Too much?? Ok, I'll stop and get to the point.

I have received a lot of questions and pleas for help from my Facebook friends. I'm thinking that maybe some of you have the same questions, and I'd like to share my answers/responses. Of course, if any of you have any questions, you can always try the comment box on the blog (I've heard that it doesn't work by some, but you can try). You can also write me on Facebook if you'd prefer. I swore I wouldn't use real names for the Q & A, so, every name will be generic, except mine. So, no, I'm not really friends w/ Beyonce or Adele. They wish. ALRIGHT- Here we go:

CONVERSATION 1: The Expectant Mom


Madonna: I still have 3 more months! Really, I am just wondering when people actually start using the methods. Did you really start the day you came home from the hospital and was that reasonable? Also, I feel like I can't leave my house the first 6 weeks with the schedule because of the strict nap times and wake times. Did you leave your house and just make it work when you could? I should probably finish the book before I bother you anymore

Lindsey:  Ok, so, here's the deal: Babywise says to not really try the routine deal until 10 days after birth. The only goal from the beginning should be to focus on full feedings. You'll know what I mean when the baby gets here ... sometimes he/she wants to "snack" whether on the bottle or tata and will fall asleep halfway through eating and then be hungry sooner. Keeping your baby awake for a full feeding will help him/her go longer b/t feedings, which will eventually help with the Babywise routine. This is difficult sometimes b/c babies are so sleepy in the beginning, so it's just something to practice, but don't beat yourself up if you're not successful. Also, when I'm in the HOSPITAL I start the process of laying the baby down when he/she naps. Obviously, I hold my baby, but I don't just let it sleep in my arms all the time (even though they're so cuddly that you'll want to).

And about leaving your house and naps - the good thing about Babywise is that the babies naps should fit your routine. I don't know that you'll really want to leave the house the 1st six weeks very much just b/c it's a challenge to get out the door : ) but-regardless- you can still have a life and let your baby develop good sleep patterns. The idea w/ Babywise is not to be a strict schedule, but a flexible routine. Please, trust me when I say this: when you're baby starts sleeping through the night and takes good, solid naps during the day you will do ANYTHING to keep it that way. Do not underestimate the beauty of good sleep and the misery of waking up w/ your baby all night.

P.S. You're not bothering me! You should finish the book though b/c I think reading it all gives you a good idea of how everything works together - eating/wake time/naps.

Up-Date: Baby is almost 3 weeks old and this was Mom's response as of today...
*He def knows his feeding schedule already so now we just need those night feedings to stop- ha!*

Good luck! Hope that day comes soon : )

CONVERSATION 2: Middle of the Night Woes


Beyonce: I have been doing babywise also, but now my baby who is almost 11 weeks has been waking up at night after about 7 hours (or less) when she was going 8-10. This has been happening for almost a week. She does take a full feeding when she wakes up. Do you have any insight?! I know that 6-7 hours isn't much of a difference and still a great stretch, but I feel like we are moving backwards! especially since 10 hours has been the norm for almost 2 weeks prior! I know this is random but I figured since you have been through it twice you might be able to help! Thank you!

Lindsey: Hey! I'm glad you wrote! I have also found that there are times when my baby wakes up at a certain time at night that breaks the traditional routine. If she's taking a full bottle, then she's obviously hungry. She may be going through a growth spurt and just needs that extra feeding. You could try giving her a little more during the day or at night feeding. This phase shouldn't last long though IF you consistently lay her right back down once the middle of the night bottle is gone. Of course, you don't want to create a new habit if she has been going longer stretches, so I understand. I suggest waiting the 15 min to see if she goes back to sleep in that time, on her own. If not, feed her and lay back down. In the past, I have found that there is that one night that she either doesn't fuss for the full 15 or just doesn't wake up at that time again. It really is just a phase and these will pop up from time to time... Growth spurts, teething, etc. I understand being spoiled to longer sleep times! I'm glad Babywise is working well for you... Let me know if you have other questions or something comes up!

CONVERSATION 3: Get My Baby Out of My Bed!


Rihanna: I bought baby wise before my son was born, but barely started it. Now my son is almost one and he sleeps in the bed with us and another baby on the way! Help! Ha I love the cuddle time, but it would be nice to have baby free nights with just my husband and I! Any suggestions on getting a one year old in his own bed?

Lindsey: Congratulations on the new baby!! Ok, 1st, practice with the crib during the day. He needs to feel comfortable and secure sleeping alone in his crib. As you know, he's going to cry.. And it's hard! Check on him every 15 min if he continues to cry. Try it until it works. My son was having issues at one pt and I let him cry for 2 hrs, checking on him every 15-20 min. He finally fell asleep on his own. Now when I lay him down (awake), he's fine. Do the same thing at night. If he wakes up and cries at night, give him 15 min to stop, then go change diaper, bottle, whatever, lay him right back down (((no talking, minimal lights))) He needs to know it's night. Babywise says the process takes 3-5 days.. Stay strong and it will click. Write me with other questions if something comes up!!

CONVERSATION 4: The Troubled Napper


Adele: Hey girl! I'd heard the term Baby Wise thrown around before but never looked into it. After a particularly tough day/night, I saw your post about doing the blog and decided to go ahead and download the book. I've been reading it every free second I get and already can see a change for the better with my baby after only two days! She is taking better naps during the day and is therefore happier in her wake times. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for inspiring me to look into Baby Wise!

Lindsey: Yay!! I'm SOOO glad for you! I want to hug the person that told me to read that book ... both of my kids sleep 12 hrs. a night, and my son takes 2 hr naps twice a day. It's nice, and you'll get there. Hopefully, my experiences (and mess-ups) will help!

... not even 3 weeks later
 
Adele: Okay, I need help. I'll try to make this as short as possible but with enough information so that you can maybe offer some advice. As I said in the last message, I started trying to implement Babywise when my baby was about 7 weeks old and she's now 10 weeks. She started out great! She adapted really well to the eat-play-sleep routine and was napping well. I was thrilled that it could be that easy... yeah right!! She's always been a great night sleeper. She eats around 10 pm and sleeps until 7:30 am with usually one quick "snack" around 4:30 am. So, bedtime isn't an issue. Naptime is where we're having problems. She takes a great morning nap - usually from 9:00 am-10:30 am and a great night nap - around 8:30 pm -10:00 pm. The naps in the middle of the day, though, are only between 30-45 minutes. She'll go down for all of her naps easily, but she just can't seem to stay asleep. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep if I hold her after she wakes up but not always. I've tried a couple of things like checking her diaper, seeing if she needs to burp, soothing her and laying her back down, etc. but if I can get her back down in her crib at all, she'll only sleep for 5-10 minutes longer. I tried not to worry about it too much at first hoping it was just a phase and grateful that she at least slept well at night, but I can see such a difference in her after she gets that good morning nap. She eats better and is overall happier. Also, selfishly, those 1 1/2 hour naps allow me to get things done around the house/plan our day and I'm very OCD... I love predictability and routine in my life. The other day when she woke up early, I tried letting her cry it out. I let her cry for 15 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. She was literally screaming her head off with no signs of settling down at all. From what I've read, it's an all or nothing with the CIO method, but I'm not sure I can do it and if she's ready for it at 10 weeks old. Again, sorry for the long message. You are the only person I know that follows Babywise, so I was hoping you had some suggestions with your experience. Thanks so much!!!!

Lindsey: Don't apologize, I'm glad you wrote. Ok, 1st- I don't know if you read all of Babywise or just parts, but at one point it talks about the 45 minute intruder. Basically, your baby suddenly starts waking 45 min sooner than normal for naps. Usually, this indicates a growth spurt (as I've found). Maybe she needs to up her milk/formula intake until you can add rice cereal or add solid foods... Just a thought. Also, Babywise talks about phases of sleep and 45 min into a nap is when there is a shift and there can be times of increased alertness, so to speak. If she wakes up crying 45 min in, then her nap really isn't over. Wait a few min to go in. Sometimes she'll dose back off (just like when you hold her) ... The more accustomed she becomes to waking up in her bed and getting herself back to sleep, the better. I do understand not wanting to hear her cry, I hate it too! I would suggest to be consistent laying her down at the same general time every day. From my experience, she will outgrow waking up early from naps as she gets older and more accustomed to her routines. It sounds like you're doing a good job and I'm glad she sleeps that well. Eventually, she'll go to bed at 8, not wake at 10, and go without the 4:30 snack bottle. Those are the good days!! : ) keep working on 3 good daily naps until then. This will go down to 2 longer naps at around 6 months ( 1 morning, 1 afternoon) and last for a while. Keep me posted!!

... 1 month later

Adele: Just wanted to update you. Things are going so well right now! Hope I'm not jinxing myself. I'm able to put her down awake for all naps and bedtime. She takes two 2 hour naps, one 1 1/2 hr nap, and about a 30 min catnap before bed. Plus, she's sleeping from around 9 pm- 7:30 am. Yay!! I think persistence and consistency was key for us. Just praying that the 4 month sleep regression I've heard about is a myth! Thanks so much for your advice!

Lindsey: Yay! This changed your life, I know!! I just laid my son down and he giggled.. it's ridiculous and I love it. Glad she's doing better!!!

 

There are other conversations that I could add, but I think these sum up the major topics. If there are terms used in our text that you do not understand, then I would suggest (as always) buying BabyWise. Everything, of course, is discussed there. Or you could do a quick Google search for an overview.


Thanks y'all. Once again, Happy Sleeping!

Lindsey

Back from the Trenches

Better late than never ... right?

As most of my Facebook friends know, I have had a crazy year thus far. Although I had every intention of keeping my blog going on a regular basis, things became a little chaotic in my life. For starters, I just had a baby 7 weeks ago. He was our sweet little surprise, but we're thrilled he's here! He is keeping me busy and making sure that I stay up to speed on my Babywise skills. Just like all others, he likes to challenge me : ) Also, my husband and I decided to sell our home because, with new baby in tow, we needed more space. Our house sold a few months ago, and we just moved into our new home a few weeks ago. Basically, my life lately=crazy! Although I can't promise blog entries as often as I'd like, I will try my best to roll out a few each month (fingers crossed).

In my last blog I mentioned that I want to write about beginning Babywise in older babies/toddlers, and I will get to that topic.... just not today. My focus today is solely on newborns since this is fresh on my mind - as you can imagine.

When my son was born at the end of July (3 weeks early), I immediately tried to set up a routine that would help accustom him to healthy sleep patterns. Newborns are especially sleepy, so sometimes this is difficult. One of the things that I have learned to do and certainly helps is letting your newborn lay in a bassinet, crib, pack n play, etc. to sleep. I know some new moms want to hold their babies while they sleep because they're so cuddly, and although this is tempting to do often, I find the strength to refrain. From day 1 in the hospital, I lay my baby down to sleep. For those of you who breastfeed, you know that babies LOVE to fall asleep while eating. The bond that they are creating with you is a comfort to your baby, and he/she becomes lulled to sleep by the contact and action of sucking. Not to be a buzz kill, but you shouldn't let this be a habit since this is often the first step to baby needing mommy to go to sleep. Sleep crutches are the worst, especially when that crutch happens to be Mom ... it's not cute when baby is 6 months old. True story. This also leads to unnecessary snacking which DESTROYS routine; trust this mom on that fact! If baby does fall asleep while eating, then lay him/her down. This will most likely accomplish 1 of 2 things, both infinitely better than what I just mentioned. 1. He/she will sleep on a surface that is not you. 2. He/she will wake back up to complete a FULL FEEDING (refer to an earlier blog, in which I discussed this vs. snacking in more depth).

The same is true for bottle-fed babies. Because feedings, in general, require baby to be held, he/she tends to fall asleep while eating. I will say for a bottle-fed baby, because I am familiar with both, pay attention to how many ounces of formula he/she takes. If your newborn is only taking 2 oz. at every feeding, but is hungry after only 1 hour, then try 3 oz. to see if this helps extend feeding time. There is nothing more daunting than when your baby takes a whopping 1 oz. in the middle of the night only to wake up prematurely due to hunger. Watch for true hunger signs also. Just because your baby is crying and it is "time" to eat, does not mean you should stick a bottle in his/her mouth. Newborns especially will start sucking on their hands or make noises that let you know he/she is hungry. You will learn your baby's tendencies if you pay attention and know what to look for. I usually have my babies down to a T by the time he/she is a few months old because I know each baby's signs for hunger, sleepiness, sickness, etc. Besides the sleep, this is the greatest advantage of Babywise: learning your baby's needs, all due to the predictability of routine.

Before I shut this down I have to give a shout out to my little man for sleeping a whopping 7 hours last night for the first time! He went to bed at 9:30 p.m. and woke up to eat at 4:30 a.m. The best part, besides the fact that my husband got up with him (whoop! whoop!), is that he only took 2 oz. at 4:30 a.m. and went back to sleep until almost 8 a.m. For the record, this does not contradict what I said earlier about not taking full bottles because it was evident he was completely satisfied and content when he went back to sleep. What this tells me, at this point, is that he is requiring less milk at night because he eats enough during the day to tide him over. With the exception of some nights, this should become the norm and his natural pattern for night time. My 7 week old can now distinguish day from night and this is quite an accomplishment!

((I want to make a quick note that, in my experiences, babies born early take longer to become Babywise. My middle child was only 2 weeks early, and he caught on almost immediately. My other 2 were 3 weeks early, and they slept more, which messed with the routine in the beginning, and needed to eat more often. Just food for thought and worth mentioning to moms that might be in the same boat.))

Thanks for reading ... I will be back sooner this time; I promise!


As always - Happy Sleeping!

Lindsey