Angels & Crickets.

Around 7 p.m. a lot of things are happening in my home. I think of it as a mad dash race, a means to a (much needed) end, & the beginning point to an hour of insanity. Because when the clock strikes 8:00 in my house, that means only one thing: KIDS' BEDTIME. At 8:01, and not a minute later, I want to be sitting on my couch, staring at a wall in a comatose state for at least 10 minutes. Why? Because that is the only 10 minutes that I get out of my day that is filled with 2 precious things: peace and quiet. Can you hear the angels singing? The crickets chirping? The air conditioner cooling your home? It's glorious, just glorious.

But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's no cricket or air conditioner listening without a few important things. 1. Routine. 2. Preparation. 3. Adamance.

1. Routine.

We do the same thing (almost) every night. I realize that not everyone has that option, but I recommend maintaining the best routine that you are capable of enforcing. Kids thrive on routine. Although they fight it at times, there is no denying the impact that routine has in regards to your child feeling comfort and security. Of course, at times, we need our children to be flexible to changes. However, I prefer to make those gradual and incorporate them into the overall, day-to-day activities (if possible).

Here is a sample of how I manage my bedtime schedule for the kids:

7:00 - Baths. (A.K.A. I brush my hair for the 1st time all day & do dishes while Dad pours water over the heads of crying kids that just want to splash in bubbles & play with dinosaurs.)

7:20 - Lotion up, PJs on. (Cue terrible "Rock-a-bye baby" lullabies sang by Mom that, hopefully, prepare youngsters for Zzzzzzz's - It doesn't work, FYI, but I keep trying.)

7:30 - Mom & Audrey (5, Kindergartner!) hustle homework! Dad tackles boys. Dad lays Colton (1 yr old) down for bed with bottle. I know, I know. He's 14 months old and still takes a bottle at bedtime. Don't judge me; I'm human too. Micah (2 1/2) watches Detroit Tigers baseball with Dad. It's not the Braves, but marriage is about compromise. I get the Falcons, he gets the Tigers. Eh.

7:55 - Audrey cuddles in bed, says her prayers (my favorite time of day, even trumping my 10, comatose minutes), then lights out, doors closed. HALLELUJAH! Meanwhile, at 7:30, Dad starts a countdown with Micah. A few minutes before 8, he says "Night time, buddy." My kids know not to fight it; they won't win. Micah goes to bed.

8:00 - Kids in bed.

8:01 - Angels, crickets, air conditioner.

2. Preparation.

I like to think that I have mastered this hour by now, but sometimes my kids will get smart with new ideas. My gameplan is to squash their efforts before they begin. Case in point, Audrey is always hungry, thirsty, needs a cuddle, etc., etc. right at LIGHTS OUT time. So, while she is doing homework, I go downstairs and pour her some milk and grab a light snack. While she prays, I cuddle her up and smother her with kisses. The potty has already been used; she has no excuses. This could change any night now, but so far, so good. Micah drinks enough liquids per day to hydrate a small country, so he sips on his juice while watching TV with Dad and takes more to bed with him - we're still in diapers, so we don't have to worry about accidents for now. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Colton is golden. He's easy-peasy. I should probably note that sometimes he goes to bed as early as 6:30, so we just cut him out of the routine all together. That's my Babywise boy - making Mama proud!

3. Adamance.

Maybe you're reading this and thinking "Duh!" or "My routine is better than yours." Or MAYBE you're, like,  "How in the world do you get your kids to cooperate with you?!" If either of the first 2 are you, then you don't know need to keep reading. Thanks for staying with me this long! But, if you struggle with bedtime and reigning your children in to prepare for sleep, then maybe I can help. Do you want to know why I can help? Because I made all the major mistakes before and paid for it. Trial and error, my friend, trial and error. 

As the 3rd point infers, I believe that being authoritative and persistent are essential for a successful bedtime regimen. Any of my kids know that if they get out of bed for any other reason than true sickness, then I am going to march them right back up to their bed and lay them down. I don't care if they kick, scream, and wake up the whole house. When I say it's time for bed, then it's time for bed. I am ADAMANT about our routine. I made a post once about "Call me Drill Sergeant," and I wasn't kidding. I do this because I know that it is the best thing for my family, my kids' well-being, and the overall functionality of our household. Now that these actions have become a consistent, nightly routine, Audrey and Micah will tell me that they want to go to sleep and are ready for bed. They know! They love the predictability and are prepared for sleep.

Also, I feel that it is worth noting that I have taken "screen time" away from Audrey before bed (one of those trial & error things) because I am convinced that it impedes upon her ability to settle down and rest. She becomes too stimulated by TV, the iPad, or her tablet to handle technology at night. I have completely eliminated her exposure and have seen tremendous results. I would highly recommend for any of you that allow screen time and are experiencing trouble with your child's bedtime routine. He/she might fight it, but just replace that activity with something else enjoyable. We chose coloring!

SHOUT OUT!

I want to say thanks to all of you that read my blog, provide me with feedback, and so forth. I don't make a profit from writing, but it is something that I enjoy. Sometimes it's like a journal for me to keep. I know one day when Zac and I are empty-nesters, we will miss the daily grind of having little kids all around us. But - until then - it's survival of the fittest. Of course, I mean that in the least Darwinian way :)

Happy sleeping!

-Lindsey

The Never Napping Newborn.

Never Napping Newborn: a.k.a N3. That is the topic today. I'll be perfectly honest, I don't have tons of experience on this topic because my newborns were generally sleepy-heads (just the way I like 'em). However, many people bring home bright-eyed and bushy-tailed little lovies. That's all fine and dandy until said child cries for hours on end with no solution in sight. That, my friend, is no bueno.

So, you're probably asking yourself, "Why on earth are you writing a blog on a topic that you admittedly know very little about." The answer is quite simple: this is what I would do in this situation. This is the Babywise way. And, although, this issue hasn't historically been my own, I do have nieces, nephews, friends, friends of friends that have dealt with this extensively. When they ask me how to "cure" their baby, I simply give the Babywise response on how to handle a N3. 

First of all, the answer isn't always cut and dry, black or white. There are several reasons why your baby isn't sleeping. I don't think my sister will mind me sharing that she recently dealt with her daughter not napping. After becoming exasperated and helpless, she learned that her daughter was dealing with several different medical issues (none too serious or life-threatening). Regardless, her sweet angel didn't feel well, and she couldn't rest. If you have several children, you can probably tell when your baby is sick, but for a first time mom, this can sometimes be challenging. I have 3, and I still have trouble with this! Let me just say: if your newborn seems fussy most of the time and is not easily calmed, then talk to your doctor first and foremost. There might be an underlying problem that, if identified, can help your baby feel better and rest well.

Once this issue is cleared, and you know that your baby (most likely) is comfortable, then the focus should be solely on achieving solid naps. But, here is the million dollar question: HOW DO WE DO THIS? Cat napping is an epidemic, I tell ya. Not only that, but it is incredibly frustrating for the exhausted mom that just needs a break to complete housework, take a shower (for crying out loud), or gain some semblance of sanity. Are we asking for too much?! : )

So, here we go. Let's cure the N3. Step one: get rid of all temporary fixes. I'm talking about pacifiers, propped up bottles, excessive swinging, anything that you think "soothes" your baby into sleep. Newsflash: these are exactly what I just called them... TEMPORARY solutions to your overall problem. Using any of these are quick fixes and will ultimately ensure that your baby will not sleep solidly or consistently for naps or at bedtime.

Mark my words. I have done all of these things. Yes, yours truly has fallen prey to the lure of such enticing "fixes." Why? Because I was like you --- beyond tired. And what happened? It backfired. The paci falls out and baby cries. He/she now relies on the sucking motion to fall into sleep. So, either you have to sneak in there and put the paci back in, and hope that the process is seamless, listen to baby cry, or just pick your still-sleepy (and probably fussy) baby up and deal with the ramifications of another missed nap.

Realizing your ultimate goal is half the battle. In my experience, the best nappers are able to fall asleep on their own, with no additional assistance. As I have said before: saddle up because your baby is going to initially cry. This is inevitable. But when you know that your baby is full, feeling well, and sleepy, then lay him/her down in the crib, pack n play, whatever you choose to use. And, do this consistently, close to the same time every day. Your baby should be getting a morning, early afternoon, and evening nap on most days. These will space out as your baby grows and the nap times will lengthen, but in the first few months of life, your baby needs the foundation of a healthy nap regimen.

If you need specifics on what a day in the life of a Babywise tot consists of, then refer to my previous blogs where I outline a typical routine. I really hope this helps, and I hope that if you are struggling with this that you find success in eliminating sleep aids. I should note that this isn't easy to achieve. Following Babywise is not for the faint of heart. There is a lot of groundwork that has to be done in order to shape your child into an excellent napper and nighttime sleeper. As always, the work is worth the result. Everyone is happier in the long run; I truly believe that or I would not dedicate a blog to the cause.

Thanks for reading. If you have any questions that I did not cover, then let me know. I will try my best to help.


Happy Sleeping!

-Lindsey

Let's Get Real.

I know that my blog is titled "All Things Babywise," but I will warn you up front that this post is not entirely about sleeping babies. I want to write a blog to moms - new, old, expecting, those thinking about trying, and everyone in between. There are a million "articles" now, most cutesy, all opinionated, some semi-witty about various topics ranging from friendship to dating to parenting, and blah, blah, blah. So,basically, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Go figure. For the sake of my efforts to be cool (it's not an easy feat), I will call this masterpiece "Let's Get Real."

1. What you see is not what you get.

WHAT YOU SEE: Last night I posted a picture of my son and nephew in an adorable pose. If you scrolled through your Newsfeed and saw it, you were probably thinking, "Awww! Sweet, little boys playing so well together." HA!

WHAT YOU GET: The photo was actually taken in our church nursery. My dad was speaking and giving his testimony. I think the boys lasted a whole minute in the sanctuary before my husband had to whisk them away to nursery. They did look super cute in matching shirts, so my husband wanted to take a picture. First of all, he coaxed Micah into putting his arm around Brody. He was basically choking him (you can't tell in the pic). Secondly, Micah didn't want to cooperate, and barely smiled for a split second. Zac, my husband, happened to capture that tiny moment that Micah managed a smile. He sent the pic to me, I photoshopped a little, and Woolah! Picture posted to Facebook.

Moral of the story: the picture was fake, misleading, not real life. The truth is that the boys fought, kept escaping the nursery, and destroyed everything in their paths. We went to Krystal afterward (barf me a river), and they were actually rolling around on the unsanitary ground like dogs with fleas. To those of you that do not have kids yet or are expecting: that's what life is really like. It's chaotic, it's funny, it's insanity most of the time. The smiling pics of kids that dominate social media are only a small part of the parenting experience. I just think you deserve to know the truth. : )

2. Fashion. What's does that mean again?

I remember before I had kids I washed my hair every day. I blow-dried in sections, used a straightener, and styled every piece. I even wore make-up, like not just concealer to cover the bags under my eyes. I carefully chose my clothing and actually cared what I looked like. Do you want to know what I looked like when I dropped my daughter off at school this morning in car rider line? Oh ok. I had on Zac's shirt, no undergarment (if you catch my drift), yesterday's makeup, and I can't remember if I had brushed my teeth at that point. If I had, then consider it a small miracle.

Forget what you see on TV, in the magazines, or anywhere online. When you have kids, you are not suddenly Victoria Beckham. You will not be strolling down the street in high heels and trendy sunglasses while your kids walk politely beside you dressed like baby models. No. If you attempt this, then you will regret it. Consider this me saving you from an afternoon of disappointment and, possibly, a mental meltdown.

Instead, invest in some Converse, yoga pants, and dry shampoo. Oh, and DO NOT forget the Iced Coffee with a double shot of espresso. You will be worthless without it. (You're welcome.)

3.  Girls' Night Out!

I was shopping with my mom and sisters over the weekend. We brought 3 out of 6 kids, which is actually a break. It would be a handful for most, sane people. But, as we were looking through the racks, I reminded my mom and sister about when we were younger and would go shopping all day, enjoy a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and then watch a movie if we felt like it. Whatever, no biggie. We could do what we wanted.

Although our lives are sweeter now with kids (I really mean that ... it's not a line!), they are not nearly as simple. We had to lug strollers around, wrestle children into said strollers, and beg Micah not to nap on the floor at Macy's while we checked out. By the time we finished shopping and loaded the kids in the car (in 100 degree weather, mind you), we felt like we had completed a marathon. I'm getting tired just writing about it. Zzzzz.

The days of shopping sprees and stress-free dinners may be past-time occurrences for now, but, as a mom, you take what you can get when it comes to "free" time. Who knew that a Target stroll could be so relaxing? I actually used to DESPISE grocery shopping, but now? My sister and I consider our Thursday night grocery shopping trips our night out on the town. We rack up our coupons, eat at Subway for less than $5, and drive as slow as the cars behind us will allow. It sounds sad to you now, I know, but just wait. You'll be like me one day. : )

ALL JOKES ASIDE:

Here's the reason I write blogs like this: I talk to a lot of moms that have a perception of parenthood that is completely in contrast with the reality of raising a child. Some of that has to do with inexperience, I understand. However, social media, as I have found, plays a large role in how we perceive mommyhood, babies, and even pregnancy. I, too, am influenced by what I see others post or others' experiences with their children. I find myself comparing my parenting, my relationships, and my life with how my "friends" portray theirs. 

The reality is that, when we get real, life isn't always full of lemons. New moms are shocked when their babies cry more than they sleep or eat (BEEN THERE!). The mom of a toddler is overwhelmed when the tantrums are uncontrollable and exhausting (I'M THERE!). The mom of a grade-school kid struggles with changes that her child is undergoing, both developmentally and in terms of attitude (I'M THERE TOO!). So, to you, the mom that is learning the ropes as you go: You are not alone. We all struggle, we wing it, but we'll make it ... Coffee-stained shirts, dirty hair, yesterday's make-up and all.

Happy sleeping & Happy living,

Lindsey