In this blog post, I will not be giving you tips on how to coax your newborn to sleep OR set up a practical routine for your growing infant OR survive on caffeine for the span of an entire year (or two or three). Not today - at least. As some of you have probably already figured out, I like to write about things that I'm currently facing with my children. Yes, I am that self-centered. But, really, it's for the best because my advice is better when it's given in real-time. As a fellow parent, you know how easy it is to "forget" the hardships once they've passed. That's probably why people have more than one child - we easily forget the sleepless nights, colic mania, and all day poop and puke fests. Okay, maybe we don't forget completely, but we downplay the exhaustion and chaos in our minds. And then we get this brilliant idea that we want another baby! The cycle just keeps going and going and going... Lucky for you, I'm here as a reminder. Raisin' babies is hard!
So, today my focus is centered on a sleep transition that all parents have to eventually make. (That is, unless you want your teenager sleeping at the foot of your bed.) And the topic is: Moving your baby from the crib to a toddler bed. I'll be honest: I really dread this point in life. Mainly, I don't like it because you never know how your child is going to react to the change. And, also, there isn't really a right answer. Every child is different and responds according to their comfort level. For this reason, I am writing - not exactly a "how to" - but more of a guide of possibilities that could work... or could completely fail. It is what it is. :)
At what age should my child move from the crib to a toddler bed?
For me, personally, I start THINKING about it sometime around 18 months. I know people that have made the transition closer to 1 and some closer to 3. Unto each his own. So, does giving that 2 year span help you out at all? Maybe.... but probably not. I don't think age is the important factor. People that get hung up on an age are setting themselves up for the likelihood of disappointment and failure. *Just like with anything else - namely, potty training and sleeping through the night.* Though it is good to have an idea of the age you should consider moving your baby up to a big boy or girl bed, don't push the issue if your child isn't ready. You'll both become unnecessarily frustrated and probably lose sleep. No one wants that.
How do I know that my child is ready to leave the crib?
The advice I was given over and over was: when your baby climbs out of the crib then he/she is ready. Yes and no. Yes: because I like to think of this as my starting point to test the waters. No: because that is a narrow-minded view point. All that climbing out of the crib tells me is that my child is physically capable of doing so. This, however, gives me no insight into the emotional/psychological status of my child. For the Babywise infant and toddler (especially), the crib signifies the need for sleep. As Babywise parents, we have fought hard to teach our children that the crib equals bedtime and naptime. Any disruption in that equation is, more than likely, going to be challenging for all parties involved. I wouldn't say that we have to re-teach our children to sleep, but we do have to reinforce the rules that parent instructed sleep-time is supreme. This is especially important now that you can't simply lay your baby down and walk away, knowing that he or she has no choice but to eventually fall asleep. Your child can now "escape," so to speak; therefore, your child has to be mentally and emotionally mature enough to accept the given parameters.
Back to my original point: every child is different. There isn't a right time versus a wrong time. But there is a ready time versus a so-not-ready time. So, ask me again: How do I know that MY child is ready to move on up? Test the waters! With my daughter, I did a very bad thing. The second she started climbing out of her crib, I converted the sucker into a toddler bed and forced the issue. My perfect Babywise daughter rebelled big time and, for the first time, since she was a newborn, we all lost a massive amount of sleep. (Do not recommend- under any circumstance.) To make a long story short: I think we converted her bed back and forth from a crib to a toddler bed about five times over the span of a year. A year! Finally, when she was around 2 1/2, she was ready to sleep in the big girl bed full time. At that point, we just skipped right on up to a queen size - she was certainly big enough. Gee whiz.
I didn't make that same mistake with my son. Granted, he has always been "mature" and independent for his age, so our results were better by default - sorry, Audrey, I love you! This is what I did with my son and this is what worked...
What are my options?
Micah, my 2 (almost 3 year old), is a cautious little guy. He attempted to climb out of his crib just after his first birthday, he fell flat on his back and refused to attempt the trick again. That was the ONLY time he ever escaped the crib on his own, and he slept in the crib until he was past the 2 year mark. Did I mention he was cautious? Anyway, I didn't have a good indicator with him because he wasn't climbing out of the crib, but he has always been a huge boy, so he was outgrowing his crib quickly. We made one conversion to the toddler bed - with no success - so I came up with a new game plan. I left the crib (as is) in his room but set up a toddler bed in the corner. Everyday for nap time (NOT nighttime), I would give him the option to sleep in the "big boy bed" or crib. At first, he always chose the crib - it was familiar and comforting. And that was okay with me, but I kept giving the option every day. One day, he very proudly chose the big boy bed, I praised him galore. A few minutes later, he walked downstairs and changed his mind. So, I put him in the crib. This happened a couple more times until finally he became acquainted with the toddler bed in his room and felt comfortable sleeping in it. I let him nap in it during the day and sleep in his crib at night - because that's what worked. Eventually, he wanted his big boy bed all the time and we took the crib out for good. He was also right around 2 1/2 when the change was finally made (just like Audrey), but the journey up to that point was much easier and - the best part- no one lost any sleep!
Options:
Try out a simple conversion AKA "Audrey method" (at your own risk- it might work for you!)
Kid's choice AKA "Micah method" (if you have the space and means)
Now do you see why I put the disclaimer at the top of this post? For the first time ever, in writing about sleep in my blog, I am suggesting that child led sleeping could be the best option for this particular transition. Now, now, I'm not saying let your child decide when he or she takes naps or goes to bed - unless that works for your family - but I do think as your child grows older, it is important that they make some choices regarding their sleep comfortability. As long as this decision does not impede on your child's willingness to go to bed or stay in his or her room during nap time or at night, then I believe this option could benefit you and your child's sleep stability.
I hope this helps someone! Pray for us - our youngest son, Colton, has just entered the "escaping my crib" point in life, so we're about to embark on this lovely journey once more --- for the last time! :)
Happy Sleeping Y'all!
Lindsey
