Sleep: you were once my friend.

Do you think that it's ironic that I have discussed the topic "Sleep Disruptions" in all of my most recent posts? Can you tell that I have a new baby in the house that likes to keep me up to speed in all of the sleep pattern/routine/blah blah blah that I preach? Also, can you see my eye twitching from where you're sitting/standing/resting? If not, look a little closer because my eye is totally going berserk. (Note: If you are *resting* and you do not hear a kid crying, then count your blessings right this second.)

Now that 20 questions is over ... let's get to the topic at hand. And, by at hand, I mean going down in the Pettee hizous at this moment (and the past 48 hours, in case you're into specifics).

Hey, new moms, in case you didn't know: WHEN YOUR BABY GETS SICK, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BABYWISE BOOK AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.

Pick your jaw up off the ground and stop looking so shocked. Okay? (((deep sigh))) Here we go. 

Yes, my blog is "All Things Babywise" and all that jazz. Yes, I follow Babywise only second to the Holy Bible. Yes, I believe that Babywise is a great foundation/platform/guide to teaching your baby to sleep through the night. (Has anyone else noticed that I'm really into using "/" in this blog post?) Yes, I'm going to cram these principles down your throat until you listen to me. 

Now, with all of that being said: there are some things that life throws your way in which you do not have a textbook answer. Lucky for you, I'm going to give my "Lindsey- because this is the story of her life" answer. No, these are not created equal, but you're reading my blog, so you must care what I think ... just a little bit? No? Okay, well, let's just pretend then.

This is what I have found in my (almost) 5 years of Mommyhood: every time your baby/kid gets sick they pick up new (mostly bad) habits. I'm going to be honest with you when I say that I usually allow this, because - well - when Baby's sick ... Baby gets what Baby wants. And, so far, every kid is different.

My daughter? She wants to watch TV in the middle of the night because it "makes her feel better." Yeah, okay.

My middle son? He wants Mommy to hold him beside his bed. I can't sit down, I really can't even move. I just have to hold all 30+ pounds of that gigantic toddler until he either falls asleep or decides that I can't put him down again.

My littlest baby? He cries and cries and cries until I pick him up, hold him tight, and rock him to Kingdom come.

These are doable, great, dandy, whatever you want to call it at the time because it allows your sick child to rest and, hopefully, not cry for that teensy weensy amount of time. And let me just shout from the rooftops that when my kid is sick and screaming, I will do almost ANYTHING to hear a little silence. Oh, stop with the judgey wudgey eyes already, you would do it too.

Let's get to the point: if you are a pacifist, like me, then there is a good chance that when your child recovers from whatever ailment he or she was plagued with, those new middle of the night habits will stick. And, oh man, you would think that I would have learned my lesson by now. Nope, I'm a sucker every time.

When your little tike grows up "Babywise," he/she is deprived of middle-of-the-night coddling for the most part. Of course, we think this is for every person's benefit at the end of the day. It sounds mean, but trust me, it is a GOOD, GOOD thing. So, when Junior doesn't feel well at 12 a.m., 3 a.m., or 5 a.m. and cries, which results in immediate attention, then your smart little kid is going to have a huge lightbulb go off in his or her pretty, little head. CRYING=ATTENTION ... Ahhh! Who knew?

But the ultimate purpose of this post is to tell you that ---- You can get back on track. Just, please, don't let the damage be too bad because you don't want to start from scratch again. Remember those first few weeks and months when you're desperately trying to sleep train? Yeah, those aren't fun. We don't want to go back; we want to stay at least within walking distance of the train track.

And, also, keep the sick habits to a minimum, if possible. Instead of letting my daughter watch TV, I could have just let her rest on the couch with me. Instead of holding my son by his bed ... yeah, I got nothing. Instead of rocking little baby incessantly, I could just hold him tight and let him feel comforted by that alone.

Caring for a sick child is just part of life, it comes with the territory. We're good moms, so we become our kid's slave during this time ... which isn't any different from any other day of the week, but you understand. I guess what I'm trying to say in a very round-about kind of way is that : Don't beat yourself up if you can't manage a sick child and Babywise. I can't either. As always, we do our best and we move on.

So, I want to make a public peace treaty .... Sleep: let's make friends. I really like you, and I think you really like me. I really, really hope we are reunited sooner rather than later. I'm glad we had that talk.

Thank you to everyone that just read that train wreck. I hope you got something out of it (other than the fact that I am certifiably crazy). Have a wonderful day and you know it....

Happy Sleeping!

-Lindsey

YOU CAN DO IT!

I'm letting you know now that this won't be my typical "how-to" blog. Instead, I want to give a few words of encouragement to all of you tired-beyond-belief moms (& dads). So, hear me loud and clear when I say : YOU CAN DO IT! (&, yes, I'm thinking "The Waterboy" too.)

YOU CAN set up a functional routine during the day that works for you and baby.
YOU CAN train your baby to be a happy napper.
YOU CAN teach your baby to sleep through the night.
YOU CAN really live again without wanting to fall over from exhaustion.
YOU CAN. I just know it.

I receive messages on a daily basis from weary moms that are desperate enough to ask me, the World's (self-proclaimed) OKest Mom, for sleep training advice. Every time I can almost feel the exhaustion exuding from the computer. I recognize this feeling because I know it well; I've experienced it many times in the last 4 1/2 years. I also know that there's nothing more sweet, rewarding, and completely draining in life than caring for a newborn 24 hours a day. Add a few more kiddos to that scenario and you would be an excellent addition to "The Walking Dead" cast. I get it; you know I do.

Recently, I had a Facebook conversation with a mom and she said something that I think hit the nail on the head. Her comment went something like, "I'm too exhausted during the day to even focus on a routine." And I know EXACTLY what she's talking about. She was one of those wonderful, prepared moms that read Babywise before her baby made his arrival. She knows what she should be doing, but she's too tired to care most days. Haven't we all been there? We realize that our babies shouldn't be falling asleep during feedings if we want to follow the routine. Yet, we inwardly smile when they do because that means that maybe we can catch a few shut-eyes as well. Our inner dialogue goes something like this - "We can do wake time, then nap time next time. Just this one time won't hurt." And that might be true, but it's usually not just one time; this happens over and over until falling asleep on you becomes baby's routine. See where I'm going with this?

So, this is where my mantra - YOU CAN DO IT! - comes in. Let those words overpower the (temporary) exhaustion. If you could see the big picture, which I do now because I have several children, you would know that pushing through those tired days will only benefit everyone in the long run. Personally, I would rather be really tired for a few days or weeks rather than a year (or 2). I can imagine it's like working out. This is a subject that I should be reading a blog about instead of discussing, but let's roll with it. The beginning is the hardest. 1. You have to find the motivation to begin. 2. You don't have the stamina you need right away 3. You're sore and tired afterward. However, if you stick with it and see results, then you'll begin to realize that you made the right choice. Let me reiterate, this is NOT my topic ; )  I'm still patting myself on the back for coming up with the analogy though.

I will close with this comment, because I think it's worth sharing. During the same conversation mentioned earlier, I said something to the effect of : "Babywise seems easy until your baby gets here." If you recall my first blog I had a section called "THE WORK." Remember that, for most, sleep training is challenging. You're going to have to work for it, cry over it, and beg God to make it happen already. Stick with it, though, and you'll see that all the blood, sweat, and tears are worth the outcome.

You got this. I believe in you. &, of course, of course, YOU CAN DO IT!

(Fingers crossed the next blog will be a lot less corny, until then ....)


Happy Sleeping, Y'all!

-Lindsey

Controversy and Misconceptions.

As some of you know, Babywise principles are considered controversial by numerous skeptics. My blog today centers on addressing the main concerns regarding our beloved BW, and offering a rebuttal to their arguments. Let me first say, that, at the end of the day, I don't care if you choose to follow Babywise or not. I'm not trying to be mean by saying that, but I, personally, have nothing to gain or lose by your sleep patterns. The purpose of my blog is to help those that are interested and/or actively following the routine. If you hate Babywise, think it's terrible, then find what works for you. I don't hate, I don't judge, this mom just wants to sleep. Read on if you're with me.

Concern 1: The Cry-It-Out (CIO) Method is cruel. I will not deny that it is difficult to lay my crying child in a crib and walk away until he falls asleep. It is hard, especially in the beginning, and especially with your first child. This goes against every instinct that you have to comfort your baby when in distress. I get it. Trust me! I get it! When my 4 year old was tiny, I would be in the next room crying my eyeballs out with her. With my almost 2 year old, I might have whimpered a bit when he bawled his eyes out. My 6 month old? I turned on the dishwasher, the dryer, blasted the TV, anything so that I didn't have to hear his wails. (BTW: I CHECK ON THEM EVERY 15-20 MINUTES.) Unlike what you're probably thinking right now, I'm not a heartless mother. I care deeply for my children. In fact, I care for them so much that I want them to develop healthy sleep patterns in infancy that they will carry with them for the rest of their life. Unfortunately, crying is almost always a necessary evil in order to achieve this goal. As some of you know based on experience, your child will, at some point, undergo bouts of crying when learning to sleep on his or her own. This might be in infancy, as a toddler, or older child, but it's going to happen. Sadly, if you wait too long, the damage is more difficult to recover from. I choose to set the sleep patterns from the beginning, so that my child learns to soothe his/herself from early on. I want going to sleep to be a pleasant occurrence (for everyone - holla!) If you think this is cruel, then I understand. Come talk to me when your 2 year old still has difficulty with naps, going to bed at night, and staying asleep. I will be your shoulder to cry on.

Concern 2: Babywise babies suffer from Failure to Thrive. I was actually told this in the hospital when I told the nurse that I preferred to use Babywise principles. I wanted to laugh at her and say, "Have you seen my children?!" All 3 of my kids fall into AT LEAST the 50% for height and weight. Their eating patterns are healthy and predictable. I do not starve nor stuff my kids with food. If Babywise babies suffer from this, then I doubt it's due to following Babywise. Either there is another issue or someone is not following the methods correctly. People that don't really read the book, but try to interpret it anyway, will say that we don't feed our children when they're hungry because it isn't "time" to eat. Let me tell you - that goes against the very nature of Babywise in every way. For one, our babies receive FULL feeding when they take bottles or breastfeed, so they stay full longer. Secondly, we can tell the signs of hunger because we are very aware of our babies' cues. If they're hungry, we feed them, with zero hesitation. When this happens, we adjust our routine accordingly. IF our babies were hungry, then they would wake up at night and demand to be fed. (You know how demanding babies are - shoot, mine are.) Most Babywise babies wake up in the morning, as well as during the day from naps, happy and rested, certainly not starving. The key principle of Babywise is, if your baby is hungry, feed it. If you fail to do this for the sake of a schedule, then you are not following Babywise, you are being neglectful and potentially causing harm to your baby. End of story.

At the end of the day, people say a lot of things. For instance:

• It isn't healthy that your baby sleeps for 12 hours at night and several hours during the day. Actually ... yes, it is. Read up on the March of Dimes recommended sleep for your little one if you don't believe me.  
• Demand feeding is best for your child. Not exactly and not always. Hear me out. What are you teaching your kid if every time he/she cries you put a bottle in its face or offer yourself for nourishment? You're training your child to rely on food to comfort all their woes. This could carry throughout life and is not a healthy habit to form. Also, if breastfeeding, be careful not to just let your baby "snack." If this happens often, then chances are your baby isn't receiving the satisfying "hind milk" that is received during full feedings.
• Your child should always sleep with you. If your child sleeps on or with you, then that's your prerogative. I have family that chooses this option. Honestly, I'm not going to touch the issue. All I'm going to say is that you're not a bad parent for putting your baby in a bassinet, crib, or pack-n-play. If you do sleep with your child, I'm sure you are careful that they are safe and not near objects that could easily tangle or suffocate. 

Here's the thing: people have opinions. Do what works best for you and your family, whether that is Babywise or not. In closing, I want to say that I'm not trying to judge anyone that does the things listed above. If I was to judge, then I would be no different than the Babywise haters, and I certainly don't want to be like that. (Y'all just don't know the things I hear people say...) I simply want to clear the air about controversies and misconceptions that are flippantly associated with Babywise. I also hope to offer a different outlook to ideas that we often accept without question. Sorry I wasn't as fun and light-hearted as usual. I'll get back on track next time. This topic was inevitable. I'm glad I got it over with : ) 

Write me with questions, concerns, anything at all.



Happy sleeping, peeps!

-Lindsey

 

Hey, Sleep! Where'd you go?!

You're probably asking yourself, "Hey, Lindsey! Where'd you go?!" I know, I know. I've been slacking with my blog lately, and, I apologize. Really, I do! I figure since the snow is coming down in heaps tonight, and there's nowhere to go, then I might as well write the first entry of a series that I've been meaning to address for sometime now: sleep disruptions.


1st up to bat... (Drumroll, please)... 

The 4 Month Sleep Regression.

Oh yes, folks, it's a real, living, breathing thing. And, let me just tell you, it's a monster. The worst part about this hurdle is that 1. It's basically inevitable (unless you have been blessed with a double portion from the Lord Almighty and He has chosen to exempt you from this atrocity). 2. It's sneaks up on you like a ninja.

Picture this: the first few weeks with a newborn are the most exhausting of your life. You didn't even know that you could be that tired. Really - you didn't even know that sleep was that big of deal before you had a kid. It was one of those things that you did, much like eating and walking, just an mundane event. Post baby? Oh yeah. It's a big deal. So, you walk around like a zombie for a month or so, and then - ALAS - Baby starts to get the hang of things, and you're snoozing for several consecutive hours. Jackpot. You feel like you are once again in the land of the living. This continues for a few months, and that pep in your step is back in full swing. Life is grand. Only .... one night it isn't. 

Yeah, there's that silly ninja I was talking about. Your baby that has been sleeping for extended periods of time, if not all night, is suddenly waking up every few hours, maybe even every hour. You think maybe he/she's hungry, so you try to feed. It doesn't work. You think maybe he/she's sick, so you try to diagnose. No symptoms other than wake-time and possibly crying. Like the good Babywise mom/dad that you are, you wait 15 minutes to see if baby will go back to sleep on his/her own. No such luck - Baby ain't havin' it. So, by the time that your alarm clock goes off the next morning, you've had close to zero sleep and an unmanageable baby on your hands.

Your thoughts, like mine, are probably Oh, Lord, please let this be a one night thing and not a new pattern. And, you know what? Maybe it was. But, normally, that's not the case. There is no definite time for which this relapse in routine continues. It could be days, weeks, possibly a month (fingers crossed that's not the case for you). 

Anytime I try to solve a problem with my kids, especially when it comes to routine/sleep disruptions, I try to look at the causes or changes that are occurring in their life that could be responsible for getting them all out of whack. By doing this, I can pinpoint the issue and help my child adjust accordingly. 

*** Let me throw out there that I am not a doctor (in case you couldn't tell by my writing skillz) and I am in no position to give medical advice. I'm just a mom of 3 that has some experience with sleep training, and my advice is simply on a "I had this problem and this is what helped me" basis. Take it or leave it .. but you should probably take it ; ) ***

So, possible reasons for 4 month monster:

1. Awareness. Despite the sleep challenges that this stage in baby's life bring, this is an exciting time for you and your baby. He/she is emerging from the newborn phase and is suddenly interested in all of his/her surroundings. At just weeks old, your baby probably didn't notice much difference from sleeping in the crib, bassinet, car seat, swing, etc. As he/she becomes older, this great big world becomes more interesting. There are many physical and psychological developments that your baby is undergoing during this time, and becoming more aware of the external world is one of those. Hence, when baby wakes up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason- it's probably because he/she wants to play. Trust me, I know firsthand that playing with a happy, smiling baby is adorable at 3 p.m., but as my sister says, "no baby's cute at 3 a.m." It's a true story. Let's keep it real. But to sum up this section: this isn't the end of the road for you. We can move past this and excel ... keep reading.

2. Growth spurt. My kiddos always take off at this time. One minute he/she's wearing 0-3 months clothes, and then the next busting the 6 months onesies at the seams. Needless to say, maybe Baby is hungry in the middle of the night at some point. For me, this is a great time to introduce rice cereal. Some people spoon feed rice cereal to their baby, but I like to put it directly into the bottles, especially the nighttime bottle. My husband and I call it the "Monster Bottle" that makes our baby fall into a happy, little mini-coma. Fuller baby=a baby that sleeps better. That's our goal - to ensure that our babies eat enough during the day to sustain them throughout the night. So, my suggestion would be rice cereal and maybe "supported sitter" solid foods are appropriate at this time. Ask your doctor if he/she thinks your baby is ready.

3. Teething. My favorite! ... not. Listen, teething is fun for no one. It hurts Baby and it frustrates you. They drool everywhere, gnaw on everything in sight, and you know it doesn't feel good to break teeth. This is a possible reason for sleep disruption at this stage in your baby's life. (Bad news is this doesn't go away for a while, but we deal with it and move on.) Some doctor's, like mine, suggest Tylenol if your baby seems incredibly fussy due to teething. I love Orajel too. It's not a long-term solution, but it does give your little one some relief. This could be a go-to in the middle of the night if you think that teething is the issue.

If you're in this situation and dealing with the 4 month monster, then my advice is simple and it is this: stay on track. Be consistent with the sleep routine that got you and Baby through to this point. Please be careful ... I repeat - PLEASE BE CAREFUL - to not create new, bad habits during this time that will be difficult to break down the road. You know the Christian song and Bible verse (Psalm 30:5) that says, "Though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning"? It's true in this case too. (Well, hopefully joy will come at night when you get to pass right on out for a solid 8 hrs, but I digress...) Endure the woes of this brief period, stick to the plan. Wait 15 min., go check on baby, assess issue, when all is seemingly well, lay back down for bed. If it worked before, then it will work again. Trust me, I have 3 different kids with 3 VERY different personalities, and this has worked for all.


I hope this helped someone. Thanks for taking the time to read. I appreciate the support. As always, let me know if you have questions, concerns, or just want to vent. I'm all ears!

 
Happy Sleeping!

-Lindsey

Q & A - From My Readers

First of all, thanks for reading! I'm blown away by the support that I have received by everyone that reads my blogs. If I could sing, I would totally upload audio of me singing Bryan Adams (Everything I do) I do it for you. Lame?? Too much?? Ok, I'll stop and get to the point.

I have received a lot of questions and pleas for help from my Facebook friends. I'm thinking that maybe some of you have the same questions, and I'd like to share my answers/responses. Of course, if any of you have any questions, you can always try the comment box on the blog (I've heard that it doesn't work by some, but you can try). You can also write me on Facebook if you'd prefer. I swore I wouldn't use real names for the Q & A, so, every name will be generic, except mine. So, no, I'm not really friends w/ Beyonce or Adele. They wish. ALRIGHT- Here we go:

CONVERSATION 1: The Expectant Mom


Madonna: I still have 3 more months! Really, I am just wondering when people actually start using the methods. Did you really start the day you came home from the hospital and was that reasonable? Also, I feel like I can't leave my house the first 6 weeks with the schedule because of the strict nap times and wake times. Did you leave your house and just make it work when you could? I should probably finish the book before I bother you anymore

Lindsey:  Ok, so, here's the deal: Babywise says to not really try the routine deal until 10 days after birth. The only goal from the beginning should be to focus on full feedings. You'll know what I mean when the baby gets here ... sometimes he/she wants to "snack" whether on the bottle or tata and will fall asleep halfway through eating and then be hungry sooner. Keeping your baby awake for a full feeding will help him/her go longer b/t feedings, which will eventually help with the Babywise routine. This is difficult sometimes b/c babies are so sleepy in the beginning, so it's just something to practice, but don't beat yourself up if you're not successful. Also, when I'm in the HOSPITAL I start the process of laying the baby down when he/she naps. Obviously, I hold my baby, but I don't just let it sleep in my arms all the time (even though they're so cuddly that you'll want to).

And about leaving your house and naps - the good thing about Babywise is that the babies naps should fit your routine. I don't know that you'll really want to leave the house the 1st six weeks very much just b/c it's a challenge to get out the door : ) but-regardless- you can still have a life and let your baby develop good sleep patterns. The idea w/ Babywise is not to be a strict schedule, but a flexible routine. Please, trust me when I say this: when you're baby starts sleeping through the night and takes good, solid naps during the day you will do ANYTHING to keep it that way. Do not underestimate the beauty of good sleep and the misery of waking up w/ your baby all night.

P.S. You're not bothering me! You should finish the book though b/c I think reading it all gives you a good idea of how everything works together - eating/wake time/naps.

Up-Date: Baby is almost 3 weeks old and this was Mom's response as of today...
*He def knows his feeding schedule already so now we just need those night feedings to stop- ha!*

Good luck! Hope that day comes soon : )

CONVERSATION 2: Middle of the Night Woes


Beyonce: I have been doing babywise also, but now my baby who is almost 11 weeks has been waking up at night after about 7 hours (or less) when she was going 8-10. This has been happening for almost a week. She does take a full feeding when she wakes up. Do you have any insight?! I know that 6-7 hours isn't much of a difference and still a great stretch, but I feel like we are moving backwards! especially since 10 hours has been the norm for almost 2 weeks prior! I know this is random but I figured since you have been through it twice you might be able to help! Thank you!

Lindsey: Hey! I'm glad you wrote! I have also found that there are times when my baby wakes up at a certain time at night that breaks the traditional routine. If she's taking a full bottle, then she's obviously hungry. She may be going through a growth spurt and just needs that extra feeding. You could try giving her a little more during the day or at night feeding. This phase shouldn't last long though IF you consistently lay her right back down once the middle of the night bottle is gone. Of course, you don't want to create a new habit if she has been going longer stretches, so I understand. I suggest waiting the 15 min to see if she goes back to sleep in that time, on her own. If not, feed her and lay back down. In the past, I have found that there is that one night that she either doesn't fuss for the full 15 or just doesn't wake up at that time again. It really is just a phase and these will pop up from time to time... Growth spurts, teething, etc. I understand being spoiled to longer sleep times! I'm glad Babywise is working well for you... Let me know if you have other questions or something comes up!

CONVERSATION 3: Get My Baby Out of My Bed!


Rihanna: I bought baby wise before my son was born, but barely started it. Now my son is almost one and he sleeps in the bed with us and another baby on the way! Help! Ha I love the cuddle time, but it would be nice to have baby free nights with just my husband and I! Any suggestions on getting a one year old in his own bed?

Lindsey: Congratulations on the new baby!! Ok, 1st, practice with the crib during the day. He needs to feel comfortable and secure sleeping alone in his crib. As you know, he's going to cry.. And it's hard! Check on him every 15 min if he continues to cry. Try it until it works. My son was having issues at one pt and I let him cry for 2 hrs, checking on him every 15-20 min. He finally fell asleep on his own. Now when I lay him down (awake), he's fine. Do the same thing at night. If he wakes up and cries at night, give him 15 min to stop, then go change diaper, bottle, whatever, lay him right back down (((no talking, minimal lights))) He needs to know it's night. Babywise says the process takes 3-5 days.. Stay strong and it will click. Write me with other questions if something comes up!!

CONVERSATION 4: The Troubled Napper


Adele: Hey girl! I'd heard the term Baby Wise thrown around before but never looked into it. After a particularly tough day/night, I saw your post about doing the blog and decided to go ahead and download the book. I've been reading it every free second I get and already can see a change for the better with my baby after only two days! She is taking better naps during the day and is therefore happier in her wake times. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for inspiring me to look into Baby Wise!

Lindsey: Yay!! I'm SOOO glad for you! I want to hug the person that told me to read that book ... both of my kids sleep 12 hrs. a night, and my son takes 2 hr naps twice a day. It's nice, and you'll get there. Hopefully, my experiences (and mess-ups) will help!

... not even 3 weeks later
 
Adele: Okay, I need help. I'll try to make this as short as possible but with enough information so that you can maybe offer some advice. As I said in the last message, I started trying to implement Babywise when my baby was about 7 weeks old and she's now 10 weeks. She started out great! She adapted really well to the eat-play-sleep routine and was napping well. I was thrilled that it could be that easy... yeah right!! She's always been a great night sleeper. She eats around 10 pm and sleeps until 7:30 am with usually one quick "snack" around 4:30 am. So, bedtime isn't an issue. Naptime is where we're having problems. She takes a great morning nap - usually from 9:00 am-10:30 am and a great night nap - around 8:30 pm -10:00 pm. The naps in the middle of the day, though, are only between 30-45 minutes. She'll go down for all of her naps easily, but she just can't seem to stay asleep. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep if I hold her after she wakes up but not always. I've tried a couple of things like checking her diaper, seeing if she needs to burp, soothing her and laying her back down, etc. but if I can get her back down in her crib at all, she'll only sleep for 5-10 minutes longer. I tried not to worry about it too much at first hoping it was just a phase and grateful that she at least slept well at night, but I can see such a difference in her after she gets that good morning nap. She eats better and is overall happier. Also, selfishly, those 1 1/2 hour naps allow me to get things done around the house/plan our day and I'm very OCD... I love predictability and routine in my life. The other day when she woke up early, I tried letting her cry it out. I let her cry for 15 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. She was literally screaming her head off with no signs of settling down at all. From what I've read, it's an all or nothing with the CIO method, but I'm not sure I can do it and if she's ready for it at 10 weeks old. Again, sorry for the long message. You are the only person I know that follows Babywise, so I was hoping you had some suggestions with your experience. Thanks so much!!!!

Lindsey: Don't apologize, I'm glad you wrote. Ok, 1st- I don't know if you read all of Babywise or just parts, but at one point it talks about the 45 minute intruder. Basically, your baby suddenly starts waking 45 min sooner than normal for naps. Usually, this indicates a growth spurt (as I've found). Maybe she needs to up her milk/formula intake until you can add rice cereal or add solid foods... Just a thought. Also, Babywise talks about phases of sleep and 45 min into a nap is when there is a shift and there can be times of increased alertness, so to speak. If she wakes up crying 45 min in, then her nap really isn't over. Wait a few min to go in. Sometimes she'll dose back off (just like when you hold her) ... The more accustomed she becomes to waking up in her bed and getting herself back to sleep, the better. I do understand not wanting to hear her cry, I hate it too! I would suggest to be consistent laying her down at the same general time every day. From my experience, she will outgrow waking up early from naps as she gets older and more accustomed to her routines. It sounds like you're doing a good job and I'm glad she sleeps that well. Eventually, she'll go to bed at 8, not wake at 10, and go without the 4:30 snack bottle. Those are the good days!! : ) keep working on 3 good daily naps until then. This will go down to 2 longer naps at around 6 months ( 1 morning, 1 afternoon) and last for a while. Keep me posted!!

... 1 month later

Adele: Just wanted to update you. Things are going so well right now! Hope I'm not jinxing myself. I'm able to put her down awake for all naps and bedtime. She takes two 2 hour naps, one 1 1/2 hr nap, and about a 30 min catnap before bed. Plus, she's sleeping from around 9 pm- 7:30 am. Yay!! I think persistence and consistency was key for us. Just praying that the 4 month sleep regression I've heard about is a myth! Thanks so much for your advice!

Lindsey: Yay! This changed your life, I know!! I just laid my son down and he giggled.. it's ridiculous and I love it. Glad she's doing better!!!

 

There are other conversations that I could add, but I think these sum up the major topics. If there are terms used in our text that you do not understand, then I would suggest (as always) buying BabyWise. Everything, of course, is discussed there. Or you could do a quick Google search for an overview.


Thanks y'all. Once again, Happy Sleeping!

Lindsey

Back from the Trenches

Better late than never ... right?

As most of my Facebook friends know, I have had a crazy year thus far. Although I had every intention of keeping my blog going on a regular basis, things became a little chaotic in my life. For starters, I just had a baby 7 weeks ago. He was our sweet little surprise, but we're thrilled he's here! He is keeping me busy and making sure that I stay up to speed on my Babywise skills. Just like all others, he likes to challenge me : ) Also, my husband and I decided to sell our home because, with new baby in tow, we needed more space. Our house sold a few months ago, and we just moved into our new home a few weeks ago. Basically, my life lately=crazy! Although I can't promise blog entries as often as I'd like, I will try my best to roll out a few each month (fingers crossed).

In my last blog I mentioned that I want to write about beginning Babywise in older babies/toddlers, and I will get to that topic.... just not today. My focus today is solely on newborns since this is fresh on my mind - as you can imagine.

When my son was born at the end of July (3 weeks early), I immediately tried to set up a routine that would help accustom him to healthy sleep patterns. Newborns are especially sleepy, so sometimes this is difficult. One of the things that I have learned to do and certainly helps is letting your newborn lay in a bassinet, crib, pack n play, etc. to sleep. I know some new moms want to hold their babies while they sleep because they're so cuddly, and although this is tempting to do often, I find the strength to refrain. From day 1 in the hospital, I lay my baby down to sleep. For those of you who breastfeed, you know that babies LOVE to fall asleep while eating. The bond that they are creating with you is a comfort to your baby, and he/she becomes lulled to sleep by the contact and action of sucking. Not to be a buzz kill, but you shouldn't let this be a habit since this is often the first step to baby needing mommy to go to sleep. Sleep crutches are the worst, especially when that crutch happens to be Mom ... it's not cute when baby is 6 months old. True story. This also leads to unnecessary snacking which DESTROYS routine; trust this mom on that fact! If baby does fall asleep while eating, then lay him/her down. This will most likely accomplish 1 of 2 things, both infinitely better than what I just mentioned. 1. He/she will sleep on a surface that is not you. 2. He/she will wake back up to complete a FULL FEEDING (refer to an earlier blog, in which I discussed this vs. snacking in more depth).

The same is true for bottle-fed babies. Because feedings, in general, require baby to be held, he/she tends to fall asleep while eating. I will say for a bottle-fed baby, because I am familiar with both, pay attention to how many ounces of formula he/she takes. If your newborn is only taking 2 oz. at every feeding, but is hungry after only 1 hour, then try 3 oz. to see if this helps extend feeding time. There is nothing more daunting than when your baby takes a whopping 1 oz. in the middle of the night only to wake up prematurely due to hunger. Watch for true hunger signs also. Just because your baby is crying and it is "time" to eat, does not mean you should stick a bottle in his/her mouth. Newborns especially will start sucking on their hands or make noises that let you know he/she is hungry. You will learn your baby's tendencies if you pay attention and know what to look for. I usually have my babies down to a T by the time he/she is a few months old because I know each baby's signs for hunger, sleepiness, sickness, etc. Besides the sleep, this is the greatest advantage of Babywise: learning your baby's needs, all due to the predictability of routine.

Before I shut this down I have to give a shout out to my little man for sleeping a whopping 7 hours last night for the first time! He went to bed at 9:30 p.m. and woke up to eat at 4:30 a.m. The best part, besides the fact that my husband got up with him (whoop! whoop!), is that he only took 2 oz. at 4:30 a.m. and went back to sleep until almost 8 a.m. For the record, this does not contradict what I said earlier about not taking full bottles because it was evident he was completely satisfied and content when he went back to sleep. What this tells me, at this point, is that he is requiring less milk at night because he eats enough during the day to tide him over. With the exception of some nights, this should become the norm and his natural pattern for night time. My 7 week old can now distinguish day from night and this is quite an accomplishment!

((I want to make a quick note that, in my experiences, babies born early take longer to become Babywise. My middle child was only 2 weeks early, and he caught on almost immediately. My other 2 were 3 weeks early, and they slept more, which messed with the routine in the beginning, and needed to eat more often. Just food for thought and worth mentioning to moms that might be in the same boat.))

Thanks for reading ... I will be back sooner this time; I promise!


As always - Happy Sleeping!

Lindsey

Happy Days, Sleepy Nights

One of the great challenges of teaching your baby to sleep through the night is distinguishing daytime from nighttime. I will say, that this is probably easiest to achieve if Babywise is implemented from birth (I will explain in a moment), but this can be successful at any infant or toddler stage.

As adults, we comprehend that daylight equates wake time, and darkness means sleep. To a baby, this means nothing! Some of you know this well, I'm sure. The secret to this grand lesson revolves around one word: ROUTINE. Learn this word, breathe this word, it will become your new best friend.

Babywise from birth or early infancy:
Your routine will center around 3 events- feedings, wake time, and sleep. The order and timing of these is imperative for success. Before I give a daily, routine example, I must note that there are many benefits that accompany this routine. 1. Your baby knows what's coming and thrives on predictability. 2. You can more accurately assess your baby's needs. 3. You can plan your day based on your baby's routine. (You might think this means sacrifice, but trust me, a well rested baby in public is 100 times better than a cranky, sleepy one.)

Here's an example of a typical Babywise routine for an infant:
7 am: wake up; feeding (bottle or nursing)
7:30-8:30 am: wake time (once feeding is complete); play with baby-sing, interact, use swing, whatever baby likes that keeps him/her awake.
8:30 am: Lay baby down for 1st nap; IMPORTANT-lay down awake! (We'll discuss.)

10 am: Wake up! At this stage in development, I will wake my baby if he/she is breastfeeding every 3 hrs. (Bottle fed babies tend to go longer, more like 4 hrs. In that case, you can lay down for nap at 9-9:15 am and wake at 11 am).
10:30-11:30 am: play time or bath time!
11:30 am: nap time

1 pm: Wake up! And eat!
1:30-2:30 pm: let's play and cuddle!
2:30 pm: nap time... Again!

4 pm: Wake up!
4:30-5:30 pm: maybe daddy's home and he can entertain? : )
5:30 pm: nap time (and dinner for mom & dad)

7 pm: Wake up, little baby!
7:30-8:30 pm: oh, Daddy is definitely home and you're taking a long bath and reading your Kindle!
8:30 pm: lay down for "nap"

10 pm: Wake up! Bottle (or Mommy)... and, wait for it...
SLEEP!

Does this mean your newborn will not wake up in 3-4 hrs to eat again? Probably not.. Yet. Here's the difference: if your baby does wake up to eat, then feed and lay him/her down immediately after. Key note: no wake time at night! Oh, that seems obvious, right?! Truth is, your baby probably doesn't have sufficient wake time during the day, and most likely lacks routine and structure altogether. It's no one's fault; we all do our best with the knowledge we have. Now you have a proven successful routine that works with my key word: CONSISTENCY! Back on track ( I get carried away with these motivational speeches)...

Here's the beauty: eventually, your baby will stop waking for those middle of the night feedings when he/she realizes it's nighttime. Some of you might worry that your baby will be hungry, but your baby will let you know. Of course, as baby gets older he/she will add rice cereal and food to his/her diet, extending sleep time due to fullness. This will also change routine, but add more to keep you busy.

One other thing I mentioned earlier was laying your baby down awake. This is a big topic that deserves it's own blog. Be prepared for some crying, but follow the Babywise guide of checking on your Baby every 15 minutes until sleep is achieved. I will work on this blog for the near future because I know this issue is huge. (That is, until your 2 year old puts herself to bed, shutting her door and shouting, "Goodnight!" .. Yep, that's my girl and totally worth all the WORK!)

Here are key things to look for: your baby receives a FULL feeding (no snacking!), your baby wakes up happy from nap (this will become more evident when baby is older). Following this routine will make your baby more pleasant during the day, due to full feedings and good naps, and sleepier at night, due to simple routine.


Next blog will center on older babies, both "Babywised" and newbies. Feel free to send me your Babywise schedules for all ages, and I will pass along. I will also be happy any questions related to this post!

Thanks for reading... Lindsey