1. What you see is not what you get.
WHAT YOU SEE: Last night I posted a picture of my son and nephew in an adorable pose. If you scrolled through your Newsfeed and saw it, you were probably thinking, "Awww! Sweet, little boys playing so well together." HA!
WHAT YOU GET: The photo was actually taken in our church nursery. My dad was speaking and giving his testimony. I think the boys lasted a whole minute in the sanctuary before my husband had to whisk them away to nursery. They did look super cute in matching shirts, so my husband wanted to take a picture. First of all, he coaxed Micah into putting his arm around Brody. He was basically choking him (you can't tell in the pic). Secondly, Micah didn't want to cooperate, and barely smiled for a split second. Zac, my husband, happened to capture that tiny moment that Micah managed a smile. He sent the pic to me, I photoshopped a little, and Woolah! Picture posted to Facebook.
Moral of the story: the picture was fake, misleading, not real life. The truth is that the boys fought, kept escaping the nursery, and destroyed everything in their paths. We went to Krystal afterward (barf me a river), and they were actually rolling around on the unsanitary ground like dogs with fleas. To those of you that do not have kids yet or are expecting: that's what life is really like. It's chaotic, it's funny, it's insanity most of the time. The smiling pics of kids that dominate social media are only a small part of the parenting experience. I just think you deserve to know the truth. : )
2. Fashion. What's does that mean again?
I remember before I had kids I washed my hair every day. I blow-dried in sections, used a straightener, and styled every piece. I even wore make-up, like not just concealer to cover the bags under my eyes. I carefully chose my clothing and actually cared what I looked like. Do you want to know what I looked like when I dropped my daughter off at school this morning in car rider line? Oh ok. I had on Zac's shirt, no undergarment (if you catch my drift), yesterday's makeup, and I can't remember if I had brushed my teeth at that point. If I had, then consider it a small miracle.
Forget what you see on TV, in the magazines, or anywhere online. When you have kids, you are not suddenly Victoria Beckham. You will not be strolling down the street in high heels and trendy sunglasses while your kids walk politely beside you dressed like baby models. No. If you attempt this, then you will regret it. Consider this me saving you from an afternoon of disappointment and, possibly, a mental meltdown.
Instead, invest in some Converse, yoga pants, and dry shampoo. Oh, and DO NOT forget the Iced Coffee with a double shot of espresso. You will be worthless without it. (You're welcome.)
3. Girls' Night Out!
I was shopping with my mom and sisters over the weekend. We brought 3 out of 6 kids, which is actually a break. It would be a handful for most, sane people. But, as we were looking through the racks, I reminded my mom and sister about when we were younger and would go shopping all day, enjoy a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and then watch a movie if we felt like it. Whatever, no biggie. We could do what we wanted.
Although our lives are sweeter now with kids (I really mean that ... it's not a line!), they are not nearly as simple. We had to lug strollers around, wrestle children into said strollers, and beg Micah not to nap on the floor at Macy's while we checked out. By the time we finished shopping and loaded the kids in the car (in 100 degree weather, mind you), we felt like we had completed a marathon. I'm getting tired just writing about it. Zzzzz.
The days of shopping sprees and stress-free dinners may be past-time occurrences for now, but, as a mom, you take what you can get when it comes to "free" time. Who knew that a Target stroll could be so relaxing? I actually used to DESPISE grocery shopping, but now? My sister and I consider our Thursday night grocery shopping trips our night out on the town. We rack up our coupons, eat at Subway for less than $5, and drive as slow as the cars behind us will allow. It sounds sad to you now, I know, but just wait. You'll be like me one day. : )
ALL JOKES ASIDE:
Here's the reason I write blogs like this: I talk to a lot of moms that have a perception of parenthood that is completely in contrast with the reality of raising a child. Some of that has to do with inexperience, I understand. However, social media, as I have found, plays a large role in how we perceive mommyhood, babies, and even pregnancy. I, too, am influenced by what I see others post or others' experiences with their children. I find myself comparing my parenting, my relationships, and my life with how my "friends" portray theirs.
The reality is that, when we get real, life isn't always full of lemons. New moms are shocked when their babies cry more than they sleep or eat (BEEN THERE!). The mom of a toddler is overwhelmed when the tantrums are uncontrollable and exhausting (I'M THERE!). The mom of a grade-school kid struggles with changes that her child is undergoing, both developmentally and in terms of attitude (I'M THERE TOO!). So, to you, the mom that is learning the ropes as you go: You are not alone. We all struggle, we wing it, but we'll make it ... Coffee-stained shirts, dirty hair, yesterday's make-up and all.
Happy sleeping & Happy living,
Lindsey
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